The Sin of Offense
While chatting with a mentor a few weeks ago, I brought up the number of people in my life who have offended me and my struggle to forgive them. He recommended the book The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. The book chronicles the oft subtle but detrimental role offense plays in our lives- often leaving us angry and unable to forgive. I know this has been true for me. Over the years, various people have rubbed me the wrong way, hurt my feelings, or done something to disgruntle me. For a select few who have really-I feel- done me wrong, I’ve remained offended and unforgiving, leaning into my hurt for years rather than seeking the Lord’s will.
God calls us to forgive. This is the farthest thing from easy. But he also calls us a step further: to not hold offense. When someone wrongs us, especially severely, it is tempting to hold on to the wrong and not release the person from mental bondage in our minds. “They wronged me!” we think, “They deserve to suffer! I am entitled to my hurt feelings!”. But did Jesus not undergo severe flogging and humiliation, a literal crown of thorns placed upon his head (John 19:1-4)? Did he not hang on the cross, blameless, yet call out to the Father “Forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34)?
Jesus was innocent and gravely wronged. Not only did a dear friend stab him in the back (We see you, Judas) but he had his literal flesh torn from him because those in control were offended by his message. An innocent man was crucified because of offense, yet, in a moment when he could have claimed betrayal, he chose to not only forgive, but to not hold it over them.
It is so easy to hold on to offense. Trust me, I know. I’m really, really good at it. But God calls us to let go. He asks us to be the example our children need and forgive in a world that champions unforgiveness, cancel culture, and grudges. As our little ones age, they too will be faced by those they would rather not forgive. They will face a world that constantly offends and despises them for their faith. But we are to be in this world, not of it (John 17:14-16). I pray that as you snuggle close with those you love most, you remember those you most definitely do not love, and those no one loves. And you consider whether or not it is worth, finally, letting go.
A Prayer To Let Go of Offense
Heavenly Father, I pray that as I consider those who I do not love, cherish, or even like, those who have deeply insulted me or mildly offended me, that I will remember the love you offer upon the cross. You call us to forgive and to relinquish. Help me to relinquish past hurts and offenses to you. Amen
Resources:
The Bait of Satan by John Bevere
