Who We Tell Ourselves We Are
Who are you when no one is looking? How about when everyone is watching? What persona’s do you wear? I felt convicted of this question while reading the book Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr. So often, we hide behind masks without even realizing we are doing so- truly believing we are fully one thing when, the truth is, everything is always more complex than just a single presentation.
I’ve been thinking about the persona’s I wear, and two immediately came to mind: 1) Being a kind, nice person, and 2) believing I am the victim when things go wrong.
This is not to say that I am stone-hearted and mean or that I have never been victimized. Rather, I am more complex than simply being a nice person or always being the victim in adverse circumstances. No one is simply one thing, although we often view ourselves as such. Our beliefs about ourselves are not always a full representation of who we really are. A friend said to me, “Our actions often define who we are” and I believe, in many ways, this is true. While it is important to have heart behind our actions, we must show our heart through them. A marriage with a cheating spouse does not feel like a marriage at all, despite the vows and constant “I love you” statements. Our actions must reflect our hearts and vice versa. So, we may believe something detrimental about ourselves, such as “I am not a good person”, but in reality our actions say otherwise! At the same time, like in my case, it can be tempting to say “I am always the victim”, but the truth is more complex than that, and there are times I have not been the victim but rather an active participant in the dispute. Always and never statements hold some truth, but rarely the entirety of it.
I invite you to consider as we approach the new week, what persona’s do I wear? How do these define how you see yourself and how you view who you are? I also want to remind you, the love of Christ overcomes all of what we think or say about ourselves, and his actions by going to the cross far override our own motives and movements. Go in peace, knowing that, even as you consider, there is more depth to you than a simple good or bad, and that you are cleansed by Jesus.
A Prayer for Taking Off the Mask
Lord, It is so easy to believe we are simply one thing. We are good. We are bad. We have this skillset. We lack that skillset. But you have made us diverse and dynamic human beings, so much more than just one way or the other! May we lean into our discrepancies so we may learn and grow, being honest with ourselves about our strengths and weaknesses. Help us to set the masks aside so that we can bring ourselves as we are before you, humbled and fully loved. Amen.
Resources
Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr
Mark 7
